It's Craaaaaaig Daaaaavid 'ere, with our Kes. Today we're talking about.... oh, bugger it, I've pissed meself. Come on, Kes. Bo selecta.
the bandersnatch esq.
JoinedPosts by the bandersnatch esq.
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11
South Park and the Mormons
by the bandersnatch esq. indid anyone see the south park episode focussing on the mormons?
i guess it's been out a while over in the states, but it was just broadcast last night over here in blighty.
it was so funny!
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the bandersnatch esq.
That's right Scoob, and Marge says "I would have feigned interest!"
There's also the one where Marge says "I was so lonely in the house, that when two Jehovah's Witnesses called round the other day I kept them talking for so long, they snuck away when I went to get lemonade."
Ah, the Simpsons. Eases the pain. -
11
South Park and the Mormons
by the bandersnatch esq. indid anyone see the south park episode focussing on the mormons?
i guess it's been out a while over in the states, but it was just broadcast last night over here in blighty.
it was so funny!
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the bandersnatch esq.
Did anyone see the South Park episode focussing on the Mormons? I guess it's been out a while over in the States, but it was just broadcast last night over here in Blighty. It was so funny! I never realised the Mormons had beliefs as crazy as the JW's!
Now, if we could just get them to do an episode about the Organisation...
All together now: dumb dumb dumb dumb-dumb... -
30
Wonderful English Customs..
by Englishman in..i'll start.
morris dancing!
the hankies add a nice touch... .
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the bandersnatch esq.
Having a nice sit down and a cup of tea with a biscuit.
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28
What kind of video games do you play?
by dustyb ini play pc games for the most part.
i'm still in the old counter-strike mode.
but i also like to play unreal tournament 2003 and 2004. i also like battlefield 1942/vietnam and farcry.. i would recommend the athlon 64 or fx(if you gots lots of cash) series from amd over a pentium, since they run 32 stuff fast now and can do 64 bit when the production version is released.
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the bandersnatch esq.
I play a fantastic MMORPG called Eve Online. It's like the old game Elite, but with real players to fight/trade against. So many other career paths to choose from too, it's difficult to describe the scope of it.
If anyone on here plays it too, look up my character in-game, "the bandersnatch"...
Erm... that's the end of my infomercial now... -
23
Governing Blunders Part II - Women and Cranial Capacity.
by hillary_step inpart i of governing blunders in which the wts used a quotation from an anonymous psychiatrist and the department on 'many authorities' attempting to prove that woman feel, while men think, and that the tow actions are mutually exclusive, reached this conclusion in part - "thus the supervision of women by men seems to be nature?s plan, however desperately women may fight it.
as we all know, it takes as little as this type of statement for groups of men with shiny pants and briefcases to begin herding their women like cattle, trying to convince them that cooking endless 'nutritious' meals really is fun, and that holding a microphone just so, is a real mans work.
i thought we would continue in like vein, reminding the reader once again that many of the writers and editors of the wt and awake are still writing atricles for these magazines as we speak.
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the bandersnatch esq.
That reminds me of the Harry Enfield sketch, aping the government broadcasts of the 40s and 50s:
WOMEN - Know your place!
[int. dining room. England. An old-style 30's dinner party (in b/w) is going on. The men are laughing, and the women are tittering.]
Voice over: An ordinary dinner party. The sort of occasion we all enjoy.
The men are exchanging whitty stories. And look at the women - aren't they pretty? Look at how they laugh - aren't they delightful? But now the conversation turns to more serious matters...
Man 1: I wonder if the government should return to the Gold Standard?
Man 2: I think it should.
Man 1: Good. Then we're all agreed.
Voice Over: But - oh, dear - what's this? One of the women is about to embarrass us all...
Woman: I think the government should stay off the Gold Standard, so that the Pound can reach a level that would keep our exports competitive.
Voice Over: The lady's foolishly attempted to join the conversation with a wild and dangerous opinion of her own. What half-baked drivel!
[The men are regarding the woman with utmost distaste. Man 2's top lip
curls up. The Woman starts crying, softly, and dabs at her eyes with her napkin]
Voice Over: See how the men look at her with utter contempt...
Man 1: We're going home.
[Man 1 grabs Woman by the arm, and roughly drags the poor unfortunate
off. a caption appears, and is helpfully read out for us...]
Voice Over: WOMEN: KNOW YOUR LIMITS! -
42
what do you miss most about being in the truth!?!?!
by dh inc'mon now, there has to be something... the green carpet or the hard seats?
barn dances?
large social gatherings?
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the bandersnatch esq.
I miss the chance I might have had to plant some seeds of doubt into my former friend's minds, so that they would possibly, hopefully, one day think for themselves for a change.
Oh, yeah, and I miss not being able to do things like go for a meal with my parents anymore when I go visit them. Apart from that, I'm pretty happy with things, and I think in the grand scheme of things a few negatives now and again are worth putting up with for all the positives I feel now I'm free... -
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Will the World ever Die?
by blacksheep induring the last few years, i've progressively observed a phenomenon which i hadn't really seen before in my jw mother.
lately she's been talking about her will, about wanting to get long term care insurance for herself and my dad so they won't be a burden on us kids.... it's like she knows she's going to eventually die in "this system.
" what happened to armageddon's right around the corner??.
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the bandersnatch esq.
It's called doublethink - the ability to believe one thing, but know another conflicting view is in fact the truth and yet not believe it. Ref 1984, George Orwell.
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STOP Talking to Your Family OR ELSE!
by UnDisfellowshipped in" (the watchtower july 1st 1963 issue, page 411).
" (the watchtower july 1st 1963 issue, page 413).
" (the watchtower july 15th 1963 issue, page 446).
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the bandersnatch esq.
Quote: ":( I hope that when I die, if some afterlife does indeed await, it will be kind to me in spite of the fact that I was once a JW." Starfish, it's not often that things make me emotional, but this really brought a tear to my eye. I echo your sentiment.
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Prats with microphones
by Jonty Parkin inin your congregation, did you ever have macho-wannabes on the microphones, strutting up and down the aisles handling the mikes as though they were aka assault rifles?.
we had a few tossers like this.
in fact, i might even have been one of them.... jonty
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the bandersnatch esq.
I remember one day when I had been working til around midnight then went drinking with some workmates til 3am Sunday morning - then was up for the meeting at 8am and on mike duty.
I was so hungover and tired I kept forgetting to take the mike to people and the PO was getting more and more annoyed. It's quite funny looking back on it now. Still, I suppose that's what you get for making working 18 year olds do mike duty...